“The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” Samuel Johnson
Some people say that there’s no such thing as altruistic acts-that every time we do good to others, we get something in return, even it’s just a fuzzy feeling.
For weeks, I’ m baffled with this question in my head. Does altruism exist? Is it really possible to give without expecting things in exchange?
We’ve all been there. You give your sister or brother a monetary support, thus, expecting her or him to perform better in school. You cover for your coworker because you know you’ll be needing his assistance later. You help your friend to be promoted in the job, and then feel enraged when he doesn’t show any support when you need it. You even give your best efforts to someone, and eventually feel mistreated when not reciprocated.
I’ve utterly realized that these expectations cause more disappointments than elation. Recently, I’ve been asking myself “What is my motive” before I do something to others. The answer I find, flashy as it may sound, is to feel good and spread love. Unconventionally, when I expect less, I get more, somehow.
I’ve listed down ten things you can do to show you care without expecting the recipient to return the benevolence. Actually, few were based on Ms. Lori Deschene’s “20 Ways to Give Without Expectations”. Maybe, some of these will resonate with you or perhaps you’ll need to write your own list to spur the spirit of charity without anticipations.
- Ask, “What Can I do to help you today?” Then let it go after following through.
- Spare some money to someone who needs it and then pretend you never had it.
- Let someone share a story without the need to tell your own. Your sincerest attention will mean a lot.
- Comfort someone who is struggling in a hard-hitting situation. This will uplift his/her emotional condition.
- Forgive someone who wronged you because you understand them, not because you know they will owe you.
- Tell someone you believe in their potential, even if they haven’t always shown the same support.
- Leave a solicitous comment on someone’s blog, not to build your readership, but to show them how much they motivated you.
- Hold someone’s hand when they feel vulnerable to let them know you haven’t judged them.
- Change plans for someone you love, this will hoist their self-worth.
- I’ve left this one open for you to write. How do you give just to show you care?
Let’s face it: none of us is always kind. Human nature dictates that we need to at least get something from all the efforts that we give. And I think that’s acceptable, as long as we make an exertion to do something good whenever possible.
Being altruistic is showing a desire to help other people unselfishly, and that should be practiced once in a while. I believe that we are born with that innate capacity to share what we have altruistically, and we just need to find it within us.